I'm a M.I.T.

You are probably wondering what a M.I.T. is. It is my acroynm for Mommy-in-Training. For the record, I am not ready to be a mommy in any way, shape, or form. I can barely care for myself, let alone a small child's needs. But it is a dream of mine to be a mommy some day. So tonight will I was at my weekly training session (a group of families I babysit for), I was talking with a sweet little three year old girl, Hannah, about what she wanted to be when she got bigger. She said, "a mommy", to which I replied, "Me too". She then exclaimed, "You are bigger!" I told her that while I didn't have real babies of my own, I had practice babies to which she asked what those were. I explained they are children that I can take care of and give back to their mommies when the night is over. It is someone that I get to choose to give extra love to, kids who get special places in my heart.

After thinking about that explanation, a memory came to mind. My grandma used to tell me when I was angry with a family member, that I had to love them, I had no choice, they were family and that is just the way it was. I always thought this was unfair. Shouldn't I be allowed to choose who I love and when? No, she said, love is something you can't control and pass out like rations to those around you. It is something that needs to be given all the time for others to grow. She told me to think of it like sunlight for plants. Without sunlight, plants die and likewise, without love, people's souls wither away. But what I think she failed to mention was that as much as we need to give love away for others, we need to give love away for our own souls as well. It is the thing that stretches our hearts to a capacity bigger than we thought we ever could. It allows us to be human in a world that is trying to tell us that feelings are a weakness. Love gives us the opportunity to transcend barriers and change another person forever.

So that is what I hope to do with my practice babies, change their lives as I am part of the nurturing process of their souls.

I finished the conversation with asking Hannah, "Who do you think my practice babies are?" She quickly pointed out the two youngest boys in the room, "Well Dexter and Bennett because they are babies." Duh, of course she would think that. So I asked, "Well, aren't you one of my practice babies?" She stated with a stomp, "No, Nikki, I am a big girl." That she is, one of my practice big girls whom I love dearly.